Hitmaker: "Under The Blacklight" by Rilo Kiley

This album is great all the way through. It’s easy to listen to, with a lot of levels, while maintaining a "party-ability" from top to bottom. It's fun, mostly because it's genre-spanning. There aren't two songs alike, and it showcases a songwriting ability in both Jenny Lewis and Blake Senner that has obviously flourished during the band’s hiatus and each of their solo albums. So which female "musician," who is in need of a hit badly, could benefit from a song like this being written for them? Let’s go down the tracklist.

Silver Lining - Lisa Loeb
This has "geek-chic" written all over it. And with her breakup from the Zappa kid, it all makes sense. Yeah, I missed you.

Close Call - Edie Brickell
Sure she's married to Paul Simon, that doesn't mean she's not attempting a comeback. This song has “former 90's hippie” written all over it.

The Moneymaker - No Doubt
I'm tired of the Geishas and the dance tracks and that dude from Bush. Gwen needs to team back up with her ex-boyfriend bassist and the drunk guy and the naked drummer. This song could have been their return to rock.

Breakin' Up - Kelly Clarkson
It's a disco-y party romper, and the only true way for her to follow up the eternal "Since U Been Gone." Besides rehab.

Under the Blacklight - Sheryl Crow
Light, retro guitar work with a classic rock sensibility to it? That’s Crow territory.

Dreamworld - Fleetwood Mac
Yes, I know, EVERY review of this album cites this song as a throw-Mac (get it?), but it's completely warranted: there is no other comparison that fits. It’s a FM song.

Dejalo - Shakira
Faux rock, a dancing beat, and a chorus that's in Spanish! Muy bueno!

15 - Jessica Simpson
It's got big horns and a down-home feel, but contains very adult and taboo subject matter. Just the thing to bring this ditz out of her self-induced sucking phase, and gain her some (fake) maturity.

Smoke Detector - Michelle Branch
She's doing the country thing now with her friend as The Wreckers, but this could bring her back to the pop world. Maybe she can get that other late 90's chick-rocker who plays the piano to help out. Vanessa Carlton, yeah that's it.

Angels Hung Around - Carrie Underwood
Country sound, check. Uptempo, check. Angels, check. Girl power attitude, check. Sugar sweet with an edge. Get Carrie's agent on the line.

Give a Little Love - Mariah Carey/Britney Spears
I'm split here only because it sounds like a track right off of the Glitter Girl's mid-90's albums. But Britney needs it way more. Which is sad.

Animal Collective

This is a band that is so wierd that you're not sure whether you are able to admit to yourself that you like them. They're either extremely pretentious or actually, genuinely insane. I think it's pretty obvious that it's the latter, which is why I think I like them but I'm not sure. I'm pretty sure Lord Newton would like them. To get a feel for what they sound like download "Who could win a rabbit" "Leaf House" "Grass" and "mouth wooed her" but don't tell anyone I told you to. They sound like the troubadour in Robin Hood only underwater and on an LD50 amount of mushrooms, the introduction of which into a listening experience would probably be pretty life-changing. And if you don't like them at least try and laugh at how ridiculous they are.