Glorified Version of a Pelican

Feels so manly, with arms!

How much funnier of a song would "Glorified G" be if Vedder and Co. just admitted that those were the actual words? A shitfuck load. Here's some other misheard lyrics that I think are better than the actual ones:

Kelly Clarkson - "Since U Been Gone"

Real: I'm so moving on (yeah yeah)
Mine: I'm sobering up (yeah yeah)

See? How much better would the song be if it was told in the context of a drunken one-night stand?

Paul McCartney and Wings - "Jet"

Real: Ah mater, want Jet to always love me.
Mine: I made her warm jet to always love me.

Mine sounds like an dirty euphemism. His has nonsense Latin words.

Elton John - "Tiny Dancer"

Real: Hold me closer tiny dancer
Mine: Hold me closer Tony Danza

Okay, I never thought those were the real lyrics, but don't you dare try to tell me that's not the funniest thing when your doing drunk karaoke.

Toto - "Africa"

Real: I bless the rains down in Africa
Mine: Daduhdadadoodah in Africa!

I've never heard this song sober, so it doesn't matter anyways. Reminds me of Mary Anne's though (sniff).

Francis Scott Key - "The Star Spangled Banner"

Real: O' say, can you see...
Mine: Jose can you see...

Every little kid thinks that's how it goes, and dammit, it's better than old FSK's poem. I always worried that Jose was blind, poor guy.